Guest Contributor Aden’s story.
As a former employee of a New Mexican police department, Bob has asked me to share my experiences on the “World According to Bob.” Nothing has been changed, over-emphasized, or lied about. This a true account of what happened. I have only left out information about myself and specifically to which department I worked for.
I had always wanted to become a police officer because I had always wanted an honorable profession, I was determined to have a job I could be proud of and be the kind of person that would be respected by their neighbors and the community. I wanted to be a modern day knight, a warrior of some sorts. So when I was eligible to join the academy, I did, almost right away. I took the tests, did the interviews, ran the mile, told the truth on the polygraph test and I passed with flying colors.
From day one in the academy we were trained to view all civilians as criminals. We laughed as experienced officers related stories about how stupid civilians were. By doing this, it was training us that civilians couldn’t think for themselves and this is why we needed to be controlling and authoritative at all times. We were fascinated with how tazers, C.O. spray and guns would affect people and we were all trained in a way that left us always wanting to try it out on other people. I remember having the feeling that we were turning into a pack of vicious guard dogs ready to bite at the slightest command. We left the academy with “us against them” mentality.
As a female in a male dominated profession, I was sexually harassed from the very first day out in the field. I was unaffected by this until I had to work my first event. I didn’t have a vehicle yet so I was partnered up with another officer. He was a very dominating scumbag who threatened that if I didn’t satisfy him he would get me fired. Afraid of losing my job and being completely confused about what was about to happen, I did what he asked. I was distraught because I had always thought I was able to trust officers and I didn’t want to admit to myself that this was happening. Three days of asking my supervisor that I needed to move elsewhere I finally got to leave.
After this event, things seemed to be going well. I issued tickets, gave out citations and I was always trying to aim for at least five over everything that they had for our quota (per month). I guess I was hardened pretty quick. After a while it was like a light bulb went off in my head and I realized how much of a hypocrite I had become. I noticed that I had significantly changed….for the worse. So I came up with a new approach to my job. This new approach was to treat people like human beings. After a few months I noticed that this was working, because conflicts were being resolved, more thank yous were said to me, and people seemed to generally respond better. My quota was maintained but I wasn’t out to get anyone anymore. Another thing I noticed was the change in attitude from my “fellow” officers. I assume that they didn’t like that way I was doing things anymore and I was totally ignored by my entire squad. This was troubling to me because these were the same people who I would need should I get into any danger. This continued for sometime before I started becoming the brunt of sexual and crude comments from a certain pig in my squad. This became more and more frequent within a matter of weeks. Soon they were being said at our daily briefings and in front of our supervisor, who of course did nothing. Might I add that our supervisor was good friends with this guy and was also a female. I knew this would not stop anytime soon so I proceeded to ignore it. The longer I ignored it the worse it got. He was now buying me thongs, and trying to give me a pair of his own boxers. He then started to ask specifically for my assistance for calls that needed no assisting at all. When I would arrive to these calls he would try to get me to watch pornography with him in his vehicle. When I would decline and leave, he would constantly write messages to me over the KDT asking me where I lived or what I was doing later. This wasn’t flirting, he wasn’t trying to date me he was just harassing me.
I had now begun to see a doctor because I was experiencing extreme signs of depression. My doctor prescribed Prozac to help me cope with work. I had now turned into a zombie and was completely unable to function when I got home from work. It had become a separate nightmare I didn’t even realize I was having until I got off the medication a year later. The Prozac started giving me panic attacks because I was now unable to handle the stress from work. I would get these attacks usually at night right before I would go to sleep and occasionally in the morning before work. Each panic attack was very frightening and left me feeling very anxious, afraid and out of control.
One day I had broken my ankle off duty. I saw the doctor and he had placed me in a cast and said I would remain in it for six weeks but in the meantime I would have to walk with crutches as well. It was nothing bad and it should be easy to fix and get on with my life. I was then placed on light duty at work and it was explained to me that I would be working in the same substation that I was assigned to anyway and my job would be to answer phones and work at a desk. I was relieved to be getting away from my harasser and I thought this would be much needed break to regain my health and to just take it easy. Instead I was forced by the Captain to be his mule and carry various heavy items all around the substation, including the dumpster outside and the parking lot in the rear of the building. These things included everything from microwaves to bookcases and remember, I’m supposed to be on crutches! The doctor noticed that I wasn’t healing too well and kept me in the cast for an extra two weeks.
Light duty was over when the cast was removed and I was placed back out in the field. The harassing began again and after about two months I had a massive panic attack which was worse than any other I had experienced before. I knew it was time to quit. I called my useless Sergeant and told her that I had had enough and I was going to put in my two weeks and quit. She said that would prefer I don’t stick it out and that it would be best if that this would be my last day. So I turned my resignation paper that day, returned everything I had to Property and told Payroll to forward everything to my address instead of sending it to the substation. I was gone and I was never going to look back. I was as free as a damn bird. Until three days later when I got a phone call from my former Lieutenant that my former Sergeant had begun an investigation on me for Time Sheet Fraud. This was going to be a felony because apparently it was an amount of over five hundred dollars. I of course, was in total shock. I had never committed a crime in my life, I hadn’t even received a parking violation. How on earth was this happening to me?
The next day I get a call from the Internal Affairs office wanting me to meet them for an interview. I agree and I head down there within the hour. I get escorted up by my interviewer who is already starting to treat me like a criminal. We get to her office and she just points to the chair for me to sit. She read me my rights and began the interview. By this time she had already pulled out a tape recorder and was taping the interview. She began to explain why I was here and proceeded as if I was already guilty. There was absolutely no evidence of this crime and she was trying to get something, anything out of me that would be incriminating. Of course I didn’t do it so I just went off on her about how she should be investigating the Sergeant, the Captain, and all the other officers. I told her everything that happened to me and more. She then asked me if I knew these were serious accusations. I looked at her like she was just wasting my time and responded with a definite yes. She then said I will be hearing from the D.A’s office within a couple of weeks and dismissed me.
It’s been two years now and I still haven’t heard from them. I have seen these officers since then just driving in traffic and it hurts me that nothing has happened to these scumbags. I am upset that I put so much hard work, time and patience into becoming an officer when all I got out of it was a learned lesson to never trust a cop again, to avoid them at all costs because they really are out to get you. You are just another ticket or a mark on their quota sheet. It’s fun for them to harm you because you are just another story to brag about to their buddies at work. I went into the department respecting officers and seeing them as role models but I left despising every last one of them and viewing them only as a plague to hard working people who want to make an honest living.
I still have nightmares all the time about my old Sgt and the other officers. And I still have a lot of problems with my ankle. I can’t walk for long distances, hike, play sports, or do anything that would stress my ankle. It is like it’s permanently swollen to twice it’s size all the time. Also my panic attacks, are extremely rare now.
The police department is only a government funded gang. Bob’s “Blue Gun Thugs” describe cops to the “T”. There is an initiation like a gang, the cops are the gangsters, their job is to harass and to leave is like leaving a gang. There is no getting around it. I have experienced this so I know what I am talking about. Everyone needs to do themselves a favor and avoid buying into the bullshit of protecting and serving cops. They aren’t here for that. I have earned the right to say fuck you if a cop gets butt hurt by reading this article, he can harass his own heartless kind. I commend people like Bob Allen for telling the truth about the pig cops and for allowing me to share my experiences with the public. Thank you Bob.
Labels: Blue gun thugs